I’m the Lucky Duck
Memories of you are tainted by what you did to my mother
She was the one always there
Mom and I had . . . have an unbreakable connection
It doesn’t matter how many fights, things we’ll never agree on, frustrations we cause each other
She is home
She is safety
She is Mom
When she wanted to divorce you, it bruised your ego
You couldn’t handle the downsizing to your lifestyle
You hated our mother more than you loved us
So you fought
You won our house, our college funds, “your own time” with us, our dog
who you gave away without letting us say goodbye
At 13, I got to choose not to see you
My sister didn’t fair so well, so now she lives in a world torn between Mom and Dad
A world where she continues abusive relationships to avoid being alone
A world where marriage doesn’t matter
A world where she won’t put down roots in any city
A world without home
And I’m angry and make predictably bad decisions
Mostly with the wrong men
Yet you sent my daughter a Christmas gift
A game
Lucky Ducks
The ducks go round and round quacking
You have to collect all the ducks with a red dots or green diamonds
Evelyn loves it
You expect her to call you grandpa and your wife grandma
I get to choose whether to call at all
Was the fight worth it?
Did you win?
I’m the lucky duck
One Lucky Duck
My sister can push my buttons like no one else
We’ll just be having a pleasant conversation
Then suddenly we’re yelling
No matter how tenuous my point
Once she counters
My heels are buried
Then there was you
You found buttons
Even my sister isn’t aware of
We can fight
You and I
We rage
A fire like I have never known
Then we go off to stew
You come to apologize first
I’m one lucky duck
Christmas Lucky Ducks
I hadn’t heard much from my dad in years
Just a text here and there
Mostly my choice
He always sent strange gifts
Maybe they were only strange because he didn’t really know me
I never really let him
Then one Christmas my dad sent a gift to my daughter
One she plays all the time
Lucky Ducks
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